I have watched (mostly) foreign and (some) Turkish friends grapple with dating and all its highs and—more often—lows, and have become endlessly fascinated with the subject.
Although it is not something I have to partake in, it is a subject that fascinates me.
Another Turkish male friend told me that although men and women can be friends, growing up in large mixed-sex friendships groups is a lot less common than in other parts of the world.
He also told me that if a girl and a boy are friends, pretty soon one of them will develop a romantic interest in the other.
Men see women as possessions and as many women grow up being treated like princesses, they develop unrealistic expectations of men.On September 15, Ismail Akkiraz, the vice chairman of the über-conservative Saadet Party, told a crowd during a speech that, “due to the AKP’s inadequate policies, our youth do not know how to practice ablution, and 60% go around [not showering after sex].” A few weeks later, on October 1, Selman Ada, the new manager of the Turkish State Opera and Ballet, said that employees (besides the ballet dancers) can no longer wear “athletic wear, tight cotton shorts, tights, stretch jeans, sandals, slippers, spiked high heels, formal evening gowns” to work.Turkish Airlines has previously gotten into hot water for banning red cosmetics to be worn by stewardesses as this “impairs the visual integrity of the intended look” (read: is too sexy).We then lived with another two guys, this time in their early 30s, one of whom was gay but had a ‘beard’ as being openly gay is still taboo in this country (but that is a topic for another time) and one who had no social skills around women whatsoever. The problem is that women and men are not encouraged—on a large scale—to live together as friends in a share house or even as partners before marriage.When I would be cooking, he would come and stand next to me and just stare. Universities too have mostly same-sex housing for students, and women can only sit next to another man on intercity buses or trains if he is her partner.