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These are the Post-Mortems, where we dissect a letter and dig through the remains in order to get to the heart of the issue. Many times, we’re having to liberally apply the Chair Leg of Truth to a lifetime of beliefs.But, while the love may be tough, at the end we’re going to know exactly what went wrong and how we can do better next time.My one girlfriend when I was 16 is now happily married.There was also a girl i was infatuated with a few years ago – she’s married now as well. But you’re creating a narrative of helplessness that simply .But attraction and compatibility are physical components, too, and they are impossible to determine until you meet in person.There are a multitude of signals and signs that dictate who we are and aren’t attracted to – many of which we aren’t consciously aware of.And despite spending the last 11 years trying to find a girlfriend, I haven’t had a single one, and – to add insult to injury – I’m still a virgin! Of those, I felt the vast majority went well – I do have social skills after all – and I expressed interest in a second date for 17 or 18 of the women…

You dictated the terms of the relationship with the two – or three – women you didn’t want a second date from.– To make matters worse, I’m now the only single person I know.As of last year, my one remaining single friend found a girlfriend and they’re now engaged. Sometimes the answer is more nuanced than normal or requires cutting through a Gordian knot of related issues. But, occasionally, I’ll get a letter from a reader that requires a deeper and more thorough dive than the usual request for advice.

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