“Men are afraid to see sex therapists because they’re afraid they’ll be told they’re inadequate,” she says.
“But if he delays getting help for very long, it might indicate that he is not a sex partner who will be willing to grow and change over time.” And that’s a whole other issue in and of itself.
Participants in studies interpret "nice guy" to mean different things.
There are some lifestyle or psychological factors that you can help him address. “Porn keeps raising the bar of stimulation, meaning that men need a higher stimulus to get off because it’s what they’re getting used to,” says Morse.
For instance, is he regularly drinking before you have sex? “Tell him—nicely—that if he backs off or takes a break, it could help your sex life.” Also, if you’re fighting in other areas of life, it could be spilling over into bed, says Watson.
Premature ejaculation, on the other hand, is when a guy can’t stop himself from ejaculating shortly after penetration.
Some sources estimate that 20 to 30 percent of men might struggle with PE at some point or another (the condition can come and go).