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As a result, they lose out on the reciprocity effect.” People with low self-esteem also tend to view other people through the same dark lens they use on themselves, focusing on the negatives of whomever they’re with.

Research shows that confidence makes us seem more trustworthy—and when you’re out on the meat market, selling how great you are, confidence makes people accept your pitch.You can raise your own self-esteem by hanging out with other confident people (it’s called “learning modeling”—their good habits will rub off on you), by asking lots of questions instead of ruminating over yourself (asking “Do you live around here? I am almost 21 years old and I have only dated one woman in my life and I dated her for 4 years. I’ve asked out several women since then, and they all rejected me.“Amazingly, it didn’t matter what these women looked like! The chicks who got the most approaches by men weren’t the prettiest—they were the hardest working.“A confident woman who sends signals will win out over a pretty, retiring one ever time,” he adds.

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