Q: The other day my boyfriend and I were hooking up, and he put his fingers inside my vagina.
Read on for real answers and advice on hooking up, your first time, how to know you're ready, and more.
But when you're really ready for it, you'll feel excited and safe…like the way you feel before a rollercoaster—good scared, not bad scared. A: Deciding to take any kind of sexual step should be a mutual decision — not something that you do just because your boyfriend wants to — so there is nothing wrong with taking things as slow as you need to.
Q: My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost nine months now and have only gotten to third base. (This may mean dating someone for months or even years without ever having sex!
If this is not a step you are comfortable with, let them know. Sometimes a girl may not be aroused (or she's feeling nervous) so her vagina isn't lubricated enough for a comfortable experience. And of course, couples should always use a condom every time they have sex to protect against unplanned pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
Tell them, "I really like you, but I'm just not ready for this." It's not your responsibility to read your bee's mind, and they should always be asking for consent as you start to get more intimate with one another. Sometimes it'll be uncomfortable for the first few tries, and then it will start to feel better.
There is no right or wrong here — it's all about how you feel comfortable.
Having sex is a big responsibility because yes, there is always a chance something could go awry.
Even if you use protection, the condom could break, and no birth control is 100% foolproof. You have every right to feel freaked about that and not want to risk it!
Being nervous can cause you to clench up your muscles, and if you and your partner haven't worked up to intercourse by making out and touching each other a lot first, your body won't be aroused—and that can make things pretty uncomfortable.
But here's the thing: If you're really scared about doing it, like you say you are, then it doesn't sound like you're truly ready.