There appears to be an “unspoken” rule or “girl code” when it comes to dating a friend’s ex.
As Certified Relationship Coaches, we often get an inbox on our website asking us for the politically correct answer, what are the rules?
Ask about his friends…Was this a casual 3 month stint or was this something where years and years were invested?
If this ex was someone that was a fling, a relatively short-term relationship and not the former love of her life, we would say proceed and see where things go...
Sometimes when there’s unfinished business and both are still single, dating the ex will just make things messy all around but if they have tried every way from Sunday and both eventually said, I’m over it, the ex could be fair game.
As a rule of thumb anything under 6 months is most likely open for discussion but 6 months plus requires more thought and consideration of whether it’s even worth opening this can of worms.
Again if it was casual intimacy on both parts, it may not be an issue but it’s quite possible that even if it started as a casual physical relationship, quite often over time one person started to develop feelings even if the other didn’t.