"The husband or wife can't imagine everything that's going to occur: breaking up the household; moving; dating." Couples with children conveniently forget their fellow parent is going to be at the soccer game, the bar mitzvah, the grandchild's 1st birthday party.He suggests couples write down who will handle the activities of each specific day and occasion exactly one year after the marriage is over, covering the mundane-but-somehow-crucial stuff too, like who will get the Le Creuset, or change the snow tires.Meanwhile, he goes to the gym after work; then, he watches CSI and goes to sleep long before you get home. At that point, a divorce feels like just a formality, says Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph D, author of Make Up, Don't Break Up.The natural assumption is: well, if we're already split up emotionally, why not just take the plunge and do it legally?Questions that avoid the conversational boxes that turn a fun opportunity into a dull exchange.So here are ten questions that accomplish everything a good question should.You'll still be yelling at him in your mind for years, long after he's gone.
One of most tortuous parts of a failing marriage is the wondering: Are things going to get better? Whether you decide to leave, or to stay in the marriage, you have to be able to love your spouse again, say Dr. Think about it this way: Leaving when you're still so angry and upset that you can't remember the time your husband tickled you silly in order to make you relax before dinner with his parents, or how he used to kiss you in the car at every red light, means that all you're taking with you into your new life is exactly that—rage and pain. Love for the person—especially at the moment you're least likely to feel love for him—is a sign that your decision to stay is one of those longed-for, sought-after, impossible-to-fake times in life when you know you're doing the right thing.
But because we’re not just here to give you memorized questions to pull out of your back pocket, I want to talk about something important first: what makes these good questions in the first place. We created a free guide “Text Message TURN OFFs: 7 Absolute Mistakes to Avoid When Texting Her” – Get it free here: Click Here to get the Free Guide What makes a question good?
There’s nothing wrong with having two or three fall-back questions to use as training wheels when you’re starting out.
But having prepared questions raises another issue.
Too many guys ask girls questions that are either too boring (“Come here often? ”), too silly (“If you could be a flavor of Kool-Aid, what flavor would you be?