Funny redneck dating jokes

Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him. "Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! They don't understand how to get the 2 quarts of water into the little package. What did the blonde say to her boyfriend after he blew in her ear? The brunette pointed and said look a dead bird the blonde looked up and asked, "where?? Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: It was a bill for 0 for a consultation!

You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license! Heaven can wait A man trying to understand the nature of God asked him: “ God, how long is a million years to you? If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon to the pan? How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

" " Aw, don't matter" replied the neighbor, " Only gonna be the two of us". She calls up the place to check her husband's story. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me? All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. " The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?

Golden Saloon A guy comes home completely drunk one night. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! " He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. Finally evryone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. " After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt.

After a couple of months of enjoying the solitude he hears the drumming of hoofbeats outside his cabin. Collecting Snails For Dinner Party A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. During the final approach the Captain was really having to fight it. Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?

Grabbing his rifle he challenges the man riding up on the horse. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Q: Why did the blonde climb over the chain link fence? Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life? Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Q : What goes "vroom - screech | vroom-screech | vroom-screech"? Q: What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brunette? A: It took her 2 weeks to figure out that you could play it at night! After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo.

You'll notice that there are no graphics on this site. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container? True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later. Q: What do you get when you put 20 blonde's ear to ear? In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness. I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals. At the seance, she called out, "John, John, this is Martha. " A ghostly voice answered her, "Yes Martha, this is John. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. "Hold it neighbor" the man says, " I'm your neighbor, I have a ranch only 6 miles from here, and I want to invite you to a Welcome Party I'm throwing for you next Saturday. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works - hell, even the urinal's gold! At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. A: Artificial intellegence Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes? Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A. Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer? Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate! There's going to be music, dancing, hugging, kissing, drinking, fighting.... Not wanting to be unneighborly the new rancher lowers the rifle and ask's " How should I dress? " The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. As he was collecting the snails , he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots? " Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard.

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