The bigger the gap, the more “mixed” the signals you think He’s giving off.
You know that mental filter that makes you only see red cars after you’ve been talking about red cars? You tell me that “it wasn’t what He said, it was how He said it” or “you weren’t there, you don’t know! You need to stop that; if you were to write down the words that He said and hand them to a stranger – that is what He meant.
Rather, they arise when there is a difference between what someone wants to happen, and what is actually happening.
But I can’t help see things through his eyes also, and in many cases where “He’s” being accused of sending mixed signals or playing games, he’s really not.
I’m not trying to have a dig at women or men here, I’m just trying to demystify some of his behaviours without resorting to the Sex and the City-style dramatics that many women were raised on.
Because of this, many of my girlfriends, and women I barely know, use me for relationship advice.
I am told about in minute detail about the tone of voice he used, the relevant pauses, and the speed of response.