In love at first chat, the high value accorded to the other's writing abilities is projected onto other characteristics, including external appearance.
Both are instances of real love that is based on scant information and on imagination that fills the missing gaps.
What seems merely physical and likley to fade may actually drive us to do the deeper work and fuel a relationship built on both physical and emotional love.
To activate a schema of an ideal person, not all aspects constituting the ideal have to be present.
The fact that such types of love may perish does not mean that they were not instances of true love. I fell in love with my ex-husband on our first date not on first sight. I admired his charm, intelligence, and the way he seemed to relate to me as if we had known each other forever. There wasn't that feeling in my belly that caused me to want to appear perfect for this man. We did build a life together and for 7 years we grew even more emotionally.
I loved and still love him, but the butterflies that never were became a gaping hole in our love story.
It was a feeling so loving, so tender, so wild, so overwhelming and breath-taking, and all-involving, a feeling I did not know before). If romantic love consists of evaluating the other person as attractive and as having positive characteristics, then how can we possibly make an evaluation of their characteristics at first sight?
Some of these characteristics, such as kindness and honesty, cannot be revealed in one glance.