” Shortly thereafter, the interactive onslaught began.
The more time singles spent winking and linking and clicking and sticking, the more chance there was they’d spend some of that fabulous discretionary income.
You will try to split it, but he will pay, and you will stand to re-wrap yourself against the frigid wind.
You will part ways, and you will probably, almost certainly, begin again the next day with another “Hey there…” message from the next contender.
Who has time to create their own bling and record a video introduction and keep a dating blog and spend the day tossing out winks and roses and testimonials like some parade clown throwing candy to the kids? When online dating got started, it was touted as a speedy alternative to the time-consuming sifting and sorting one normally had to go through to find a decent date.
Who has the stamina to spend hours ranking photos and calculating their compatibility quotient and relationship needs via 1,001 personality tests? These days, you can’t even browse the, uh, merchandise without answering a barrage of questions about the length of your index finger, your capacity for spontaneity and the exact amount of time you want to be held, you know, afterward. Big business didn’t pay much attention at first; computer dating was for freaks and geeks.
I was shopping online the other day, looking for a birthday gift for a friend, when I suddenly found myself on a popular dating site (or as I like to call it, “E-Boy”). Maybe I’ll pick up a little something for myself, too.
Now I’ve tried online dating before and had mixed results: a handful of mildly pleasant misses, one real stinker (I still remember his snide “thanks for nothing!
You will put on some mascara, plunge out into the snow, meet a stranger, and after an hour of slightly stilted conversation, he will grab the check.
You will peruse profiles and find a few women who aren’t posing in a bathroom with their stomachs exposed.
You will look for things in common in their profile (they like Scrabble too! You will send them a note, carefully crafted to show interest and attention to detail. The next one will, but she spells “you” as “u” and you will let the conversation stall.
I tell all my single guy friends to watch out for online dating.
It is a sad, soul-crushing place where good guys go to die a slow death by way of ignored messages and empty inboxes.